Kenshin sat just outside the door to the Kamiya Dojo.
He stared absently into the night, thinking about all that's happend to him even since meeting Kaoru.
A small smile graced his features when her image came to mind.
Kamiya Kaoru, she was indeed a remarkable young Woman, not only did she brave the dark and terrible truth about his past, she allowed him to live under her roof, but she even came to care for and befriend him,
Him, the bloodthirsty killer, the man turned Demon, Japan's most dangerous and feared Swordsmen.
The care eventually grew into a dear and precious Friendship, to which Kenshin was thankful to have with the spirited girl.
And he returned it completely, just being there with her, seeing her smile, hearing her voice, watching her every graceful movement, as long as he bared witness to each of those things, he felt complete.
But as time passed on, it just wasn't enough anymore.
He realized that he loved her, not just a a dear Friend, but as a man.
And he knew that she loved him to,
But being the foolish coward that he knew he was, he would never tell her how he truly felt, and whenever the situation was brought up by Yahiko, Sano, or Tae, he would simply just act the fool as opposed to actually facing it like a grown-up.
He knew that she was frusterated with his unwillingness to admit his feelings, but to be fair, she avoided the subject as well,
But it was more due to innocent shyness then his reason,
He was afraid to be loved.
As pathetic, cowardly, and all around stupid as it sounded, that was how it was.
The thought of being loved terrified him,
And not the usual Famial kind of love, not like the kind he has with the, as Yahiko puts it, "The Kenshin-Gumi" But actual, real, no-holds-bar, walls-coming-down, going-all-in kind of Love.
It wasn't like he didn't want Kaoru's love, or show her his, he did.
He wanted with every breath in his body to just throw away all of his forethought and worries, and just tell her his feelings without any thought of consequence.
But unfortuneately, his mind didn't work like that.
He loved her, so much, to much to chance losing her, he was scared that once they were together, the weight of the thought of actually being with a former Hitokiri, a Killer!
To be married to him, to go to bed with him, to be touched by him,
To be touched by the hands that were stained with the blood of Hundreds of people!
It was more then Kenshin's heart could take!
But then he would see her be her normal, naive and innocent self and realize what a fool that he was being for even thinking such a stupid thing!
But that was another thing, she was innocent.
And being with a monster like him, would only ruin that sweet purity.
She would be tainted,
He would taint her.
Sometimes, he hated his stupid mind for always overthinking everything, he knew that he was overreacting to the most ridiculous, idiotic things!
The bottom line was,
They both loved each other dearly, it was obvious to the point that everyone knew about it, and Sano was even placing bets with their friends on who would say it first and break the tension that always seemed to hang in the air whenever they were near eachother, tripping on their words like a couple of children,
And they both want to confess this to each other, the only snag was not all of the sopposed outcomes that he thought of out of his own unjustified paranoia,
It was him!
He was being stupid!
He was standing in his own way as well as hers!
He was scared to death to love her, and to be loved by her!
That she would die because of something he did,
But what really scared him, what left him terrified was, that history would repeat itself...
Kenshin stood up, not saying a word, he simply turned around silently and entered the house.
" Maybe I'll confess it to her... tomorrow."
A little fic that came to me one day, of Kenshin continplating whether or not he should act on his feeling for Kaoru.
I don't own RK, I just LOVE it!!!!!!
I don't own RK, I just LOVE it!!!!!!